rahhthang-

2012-01-27T22:13:00.000-08:00

i love it that after i get home from clubbing , have my bath and while waiting for my hair t dry, shane would call me and we'll have hours of conversation till my hair dries and we're both happily sleepy. and even if i dont club w him, he'll text t see if im awake when he's home then he'll call and we'll talk . i love it , though sometimes it means less sleep, but hey im not complaining , i love anytime w S in reality than in my dreams . haha .

happy saturday everyone , stay safe .
xo,S

2012-01-07T03:48:00.001-08:00

2012 is fucked up . 7 days in and we've had 3 fights . im learning that it takes more than whatever ive been trying t do , t really grow up . too difficult , can i call ti quits ? the places i discovered and shared w you, were for us t make memories at. but ya did otherwise and that broke my heart.

2012-01-06T06:31:00.000-08:00

i love you S , stay safe. xo

2012-01-01T08:09:00.000-08:00

this morning, while lying on your bed, i realised how much i love you and how im so privileged t have you in my life t love and protect me.

Happy 2012 everyone.

2011-12-30T22:53:00.000-08:00

for my ever dearest bf, shane toh.
i love you so incredibly much , thank you for an awesome 2011.

2011-12-26T07:11:00.001-08:00

I had a lovely christmas .
Attended midnight mass with my family , went for a car ride with a very good old friend , reached home when it started pouring , left home again at about 4.30 for breakfast with my lovely boy, Shane , htht and much love , we took a walk , i came home, took a bath and slept . woke up , went down to the hospital to spend time with my favouritest gramps , quality time , just the 2 of us , many hugs and kisses before grams and the rest of the family came , exchanged gifts , hugs and kisses , left the hospital , went home, took a bath , went to get beer w my bro , home for xmas open house , people kept coming and going , spent the better of the night all snuggled up in bed with my two most treasured people, Shane and mandy , laughing and playing . went out with shane and his friends after for a night of monopoly deal and twister fries , played till the wee hours and they dropped me home . boxing day today and it was spent watching thai movies , spending time w shane over the phone as our laziness overcame our hunger and boredom , plus the weather was so lovely i didnt want to leave the house , so we both camped in and used modern technology to be close to each other instead .

have a splendid holiday guys,the year is ending in 4 days! xoxoxo

2011-12-05T06:08:00.000-08:00

can we stop all these arguing and just be happy till 2012 comes? pleasee, i think we've fought an amount equivalent to what regular people fight in 5 years .

2011-12-04T17:14:00.001-08:00

I don't want anyone to have your heart, kiss your lips, be in your arms or be the one you love. I don't want anyone to take my place.

2011-12-04T04:06:00.000-08:00

what happened ? we drifted , we broke up, i grew up.

2011-12-03T00:14:00.001-08:00

Dear ______,

I ____ you. You have a nice ______. You make me _______. You

should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me = ________.

If I saw you now I’d __________. I want to ________ you. I

would build a _______ just

for you. If I could sing you any song it would be _________.

We could __________ under the stars.

Love,
_______________

(P.S. ______________.)

2011-12-01T08:11:00.000-08:00

im tired.

2011-11-27T02:48:00.001-08:00

Are you always sad? someone asked.
(Always is such a long, long time.)
I couldn’t say. But.
If sadness was a sea, I’d drown in it.
(Salty and warm, sadness is.)
(Cold, too. Sometimes.)
And I happen to love the sea.

2011-11-18T22:28:00.000-08:00

this year has been hell and it needs t end asap. i really do think im growing up , im now okay w all the lies , cos its just you .

2011-11-17T07:02:00.001-08:00

What do you want me to say? Yes! You’re right! We’re just one big walking disaster. And yeah, my life would probably be a whole hell of a lot easier if I just walked out that door right now. I know that. But the thing is, I already know that there’s not one fucking thing on the other side of that door could ever come close to making me as happy as I am when I’m with you. That’s why I’m here, because I love you. No matter how hard things get, no matter what shit life throws at us, there’s no where else I’d rather be. I want to spend the rest of my life right here, right next to you.

2011-11-16T07:15:00.000-08:00

hey grandpa , im really sorry i cant do anything to keep you with me, im sorry you have to fall asleep alone everynight and wake up alone too. i tried, i really did , but she wouldnt change her mind . im sorry i really am , but i promise i'll go over as often as i can to visit you , i promise you i will stay even for hours if you wish , when im free i'll tuck you into bed and wait till you fall asleep. im just sorry .

2011-11-06T02:55:00.000-08:00

yknow how they say when you keep moving forward you shouldnt look back ?

fml , i should have heeded that advice . i looked back and fell 5 steps bag . Seriously , i need to understand the term 'move on' , perhaps then i will find more fulfillment in life. im super tired and idk why , ive been having this on and off fever thing which spikes usually at night which is a bummer. Those closer t me will know how i'll get these bad body ache especially at my joints when ive got a fever , which makes it super uncomfortable to sleep w . sigh .

1 month, 5 days more till you leave ]]: </3

2011-11-05T23:48:00.001-07:00

sometimes i get so focused on why and how i might lose you , i end up neglecting trying to keep you.

2011-10-31T08:34:00.000-07:00

have i mentioned i know the cutest boy ever ? he's amazing , and its a waste you let him go. he changed my world, warm my heart and made me whole.

2011-10-24T08:54:00.000-07:00

ibittersweet feeling of growing up. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who's been there tp shape my life one way or another , starting from my family and mandy and shane and melo . you guys are amazing and im forever indebted to you.

this year youre not ard . and the thought of it is slowly killing me right now .

2011-10-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

'how's bangkok?'
'good, how's sg ?'
'good, howre you?'
'fine, spending time with dad now, how're you?'
'doing law, falling sick, missing you'
'im missing you too, aww man if i were home, i'll hug you tight while you do your work'
'come home soon,please'
'back in no time'

2011-10-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

JOE's in singapore. [:

school's started and this sem is proving t be hard in terms of school work load and meeting shane . i used t think we fought with time t meet each other but now , that was an understatement , its now like ww3 between time , fate and us. ]:

i feel like im missing him so much more for the littlest reasons ]: </3 .

positive note , ive got the whole weekend w him and joe [:

xoxo

2011-09-30T00:55:00.000-07:00

here's a quick blogpost before i head out .
- Happy 22nd bday jerome anthony , i love you. xoxo
-ive been busy baby sitting koko and yann , good $ and besides , i loveee the kiddos cos theyre my neice and nephew . heehee .
-mummy and daddy have been gone since monday , back next week , cant wait!
-shane toh and mandy ng have beeen very very awesome in looking after me and loving me like a baby. heeeeee , i know im spoilt by them. [;
-TROUSE BROTHERS TONIGHT FUCKYES!
- im late , going to fullerton with the kiddos for a walk and dinner, in a bit .
j's bday dinner tomorrow night , botanical garden's dinner w the kids and mandy on sunday night , plus im staying over at the kiddos , zoo on monday with them. , they leave on tuesday , mum and dad gets home on tuesday , school starts on wednesday and ive got py in my class again , fuckyes!

xoxoxoxoxo

2011-09-25T10:09:00.000-07:00

heart t heart talk w both my bestfriends , separate conversations.
told S im a loser.
told M im tired.

2011-09-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

i love you, so incredibly much.
ive truly got the very best . dont ever let me go again.

with love,
s.

2011-09-19T22:06:00.001-07:00

i miss shane toh a lot right now ]:

2011-09-17T01:42:00.001-07:00

shit only happens to me really . i try and try t be understanding but fuck im only human. we have t meet your friends and do your things but we cant, do any of mine. fucking ridiculous.

2011-09-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wish it was easier to be with you. idk why i held on so long for. i keep hurting time and time again. fuck my life , im so fucking stupid. i really need to learn my lesson .

2011-09-11T20:02:00.000-07:00

i will always love you, i will always choose you over any other friends, i'll always think for you before i do for myself , i will not promise good advice but i promise my listening ears , if you're broken and you need me, i'll drop what im doing t be by your side so you wont face it alone . if all you wanna do is sit and stare at the sky and not talk, i'll gladly do it w you. if someone breaks your heart i'll try t fix it . and i will do all that and more cos that's how much i love you both , Mandy ng and Shane toh . and i will, always , forever and a day .

2011-09-10T14:31:00.001-07:00

idw t be part of this downward spiral of shit in your life. you said we were done , stand alone now.

2011-09-03T00:54:00.000-07:00

I AM BACK. anw , i was suppose t work from 10 - 5 yesterday but i ended up only doing 1 hour of work because THERE WAS NOTHING T DO. incredible how they hire me to do nothing. heard some stuff are coming in on monday so ive t settle them then -.- but it is definitely better than staying home and doing nothing .

swimming with my water baby koko tomorrow morning then lunch. super sleepy right now.
rushed t the hospital before visiting hours ended so i could tuck my grandpa dearest to bed , stayed with him for a bit till he fell asleep then off t town w tang tang for - crazy stupid love . OMFG RYAN GOSLING IS ONE SEXY DUDE. no shit, too fucking sexy . the show was pretty good , i wouldnt mind watching it again , good story line , good balance of romance , comedy and seriousness. i would rate it 5 popcorns . [:

went back to apple to collect my ipod , thankgod they replaced it . a lot of things to do , so little time left t do them all ]:

still need t clean my room , clear my wardrobe and pack my bags [; heehee . cant wait t get the fuck out of sg even if its for such a short time . better than nothing . will be back soon .

xoxoxo

2011-09-01T01:58:00.000-07:00

im reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally bored. thankgod work starts tomorrow! xoxo

2011-08-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

we were a disaster, waiting t occur. if we didnt end the other day , we would have ended soon anw .

fuck it all , fuck everyone's idea of how things should work , fuck them all , they were never us, never in our shoes . why did we let them get the better of us? you know i never realised it all till you started listing names , then one by one i strike them out in my head. cos i saw everything in a whole new perspective , i saw them as individuals , i took their words t heart and i believed their every action when a week ago , all i would have done was laugh it off .

tired of ~~loving~~ trying.

2011-08-22T06:46:00.000-07:00

you left . told you i'll let go when you do , but its harder said than done , cos y'see , ive wrapped myself tightly around your heart, it was one of the few things i deeply cared, thats why no matter how many times we fought , no matter the many reasons i could have walked out on you for , i never did. i hope you know that pretty soon i'll never care about you anymore, that things are gonna change completely. i know ive not been perfect , i know i too gave you many reasons t walk out but you stayed this long . but through it all , i loved you genuinely , you had t test me t see if i did.And what ultimately hurt the worst? - you left at a time when i fucking needed you the most ever .
they say when you leave a person , its cos you know you'll find someone better. i hope you do , i hope you find someone who will love you more than i ever did , find a person who would at your weakest point, drop everything just t be w you. cos i still believe you deserve all that.

im done trusting people, for real. dont come into my life , tell me youre gonna be different , youre gonna be the one who changes this mentality of mine , cos it would just be another load of bullshit im not gonna be so naive as to fall for again . ive picked myself up time after time , trust me ive thought about where i went wrong and how it all happened , it became trial and error t see where i went wrong , in the end i figured , its just me as a whole , there's nothing much i can do about it.

ive never felt this upset for a long time , maybe cos its everything all dumped into a few days , and how i wish , i wish so fucking hard that dad was here to make it all easier . going through exams , watching the person i love the most slowly slipping away, losing a person i thought was much more than he chose t prove, a person i stupidly gave a part of my heart t .

so fucking smart, S.i amaze myself sometimes.

bye!

2011-08-21T03:51:00.000-07:00

watching someone die , as horrid as is sounds, its much worse experiencing.

when i was a toddler , i remember you chasing me around the house , there were 2 doors in your bedroom , one led to the living room , the other , the kitchen. i use t scramble around in circles while you tried t catch me just t make me sit on your lap or t put me t bed. when i got older, you would sit w me by the door and give me math equations to solve, you said my mental calculation was important , thanks t that , i knew my multiplication well before my classmates did. When i was 12 and grand-dad died , you were there all the way holding my hand . there after , you took over the role of grandpa t nick and i. We were your only grandkids before the rest were born , but even after their birth , we were still treated no differently . whenever we went over on the weekends ,y uo would pass us national geographic or readers digest for us to read, ‘ knowing bout the world’ was important you would say. We needed t understand what was happening around us and not just within us and what directly concerned us, evry exam you would remind us to study, you would make sure we were focused and had our priorities set, you were basically , always there , throughout everything . my fondest memory and time spent w you , would be Saturday mornings after trainings , i would walk over and have breakfast w you while we waited for dad to pick me up , we would talk about everything under the sun , we had no secrets . then i stopped training and i spent less time with you , and im awfully sorry i didn’t make more effort to go hang out w you when i had the time t . then you grew older and so did i , your priority was still the family, the kids, the grandkids, me. But mine was different , but i never truly left , i was still your kid , i still loved you the same but i didn’t show it cos for some godforsaken reason , i might have thought it was cool t not say you love your grandparents . after a while , the visits increased again , i remembered why i loved so much t be in your presence , the wittiness you possessed , the laughter which was infectious , the hugs and kisses which were so warm and most importantly , the wisdom and gift t always have the right words for the right situation , a solution for every problem , the eyes to help see everything from a whole different perspective , the advise for a better happier future or even present at times . the many times you convinced me to say i want coke or ice cream so grandma would actually give you some too or you’ll just have the opportunity to steal some off me .

the one cut , it led to everything now , everybody says it would have happened sometime but unfortunately just sooner than we all had expected . one cut led to the amputation , while we cried thinking of how you will no longer be able to go on your morning walks to buy home breakfast , or no longer go on trips around the world or even just simply , on walks w us . you said its going to be okay . after that , i longed for you , for your warmth and comfort , you became number one in my life again , you were the most important person in the entire world to me. You were a fighter and you always believed you would make it though cos you were bigger and better than all that came your way. Then you got readmitted , you had the sudden infection which attacked your system , your organs slowed down and the doctors gave you a 50 -50 chance of survival , for a week you fought for your survival , you hung in there and made it out fine , through it all still concerned of our well being . then the stroke happened , this you couldn’t control , this none of us saw coming , not even you . now for everything in my life i though sucked or hurt , watching you suffer , knowing you were in pain and confusion, sucked the most ,. But what hurt the most , was knowing you might wake up not knowing my name , knowing who i am , you can no longer hold my hand w your right or perhaps not even talk t me . what kills me inside is knowing i can have no more heart t heart talks w you , no more words of wisdom , i’ll just have t live w the faith and knowledge that whatever youve taught me in life is enough t get me through .

Hey grandpa , please stay strong and hang in there, you might not be able to talk t me or recognise me , but just me being able t touch you and see you , gives me hope. Im not letting go , im not gonna stop visiting you , im going to keep holding on , do me a favour and don’t let me go either . if you’re ultimately not better than this and it ends soon , know i love you w all my heart and you are and will always be the greatest man i know and im privileged to have your blood flowing in me.

With love , stephers.

2011-08-18T09:16:00.001-07:00

so i tell myself youre coming home, like youve done a million times.

i miss you so fucking much.

xo,S

2011-08-08T07:14:00.001-07:00

May the choirs of angels
Come to greet you.
May they speed you to paradise.
May the Lord enfold you
in his mercy.
May you find eternal life.

2011-08-01T02:55:00.000-07:00

idc , its driven me t a point where im no longer gonna care bout your feelings. call me a selfish inconsiderate bitch , but idc . im not gonna intentionally rub it in your face or go out of my way t make you jealous or what not . but im not gonna hold myself back, im not gonna think twice for your sake before doing what i want , so idc if you see whatever or find out whatever and it hurts you , idc even if it hurts him t see you hurt . idc , cos ive cared so fucking much this whole year, ive put so many people first that i ended up hurting 3/4 of the time , but this time for real , 4 more months till the year ends , just leave me be , let me do whatever the fuck i want and be happy doing it . cos i think i deserve it , i deserve a week of pure happiness , no you t think about, just a week to be ,motherfucking happy away from all this shit. i deserve it.

2011-07-31T23:57:00.001-07:00

"Love is when he touches me and I become weak. Love is when he stops what he’s doing so he can look over at me and smile. Love is when he knocks into me just to see me smile back at him. It’s when I can’t be angry with him longer than five seconds. It’s the feeling I get whenever I think about him, and knowing he gets that feeling too. It’s when I can feel him stare at me from across the room. It’s when he listens to everything I have to say even if he doesn’t care. It’s when he jokingly tells me he loves me but really does mean it. Love is when he sits beside me when there are hundreds of other available girls. Love is how nobody ever makes me feel the way he does. When he offers me his coat even if it means he would freeze. When he says he’ll never leave me. When he sticks up for me. When he offers up his seat. When he sits in my lap just to get a laugh. Love is when I can remember everything he has ever said or did. Love is when I couldn’t possibly stop the feelings I have for him even though I have tried so hard. Love is when he keeps coming back because neither of us can get enough. It’s when he would never be out of line with me or hurt my feelings intentionally. Love is him and me, just him and me." - eletheowl

wah , i miss you.

2011-07-31T05:51:00.000-07:00

7 days, we spent 7 days fighting ,avoiding and hurting t the point where i could not look him in the eye cos it hurt too much . he said i was too good for him, i said i was bad and undeserving for/of him. at the end of 7 days , i figured i love him so much more than i ever did, because through it all , he wanted the best for me and i wanted the best for him .

no more fights, hugs and smiles all the way.

xoxo, s

2011-07-27T06:27:00.000-07:00

is someone wants you in their lives , they want you . simple as that . dont go around pushing for explanations for more than that, if they feel like telling you things, they will. the more you demand out of a f/s , the more you push people away. the more they want to run away from you.

2011-07-26T02:24:00.000-07:00

yknow how people often say dont let others be the cause of your unhappiness especially if they are not worth it ? well to hell w that saying, honestly easier said than done. ive tried so bloody hard to let this affect me . dear god believe me , i tried so bloody hard. but it wont go away, you wont go away , ive done all thats possible , avoid him so i wont think of you , block you so i wont see you appear anywhere but the fuck , you still appear on places! and its really annoying cos i end up thinking how much of a !#%!#!^@#%$#! you are whenever i come across things reminding me of you. goodness! seriously its killing me , somehow i hope t turn back time to when i never knew you, i dont care who else i'll lose in that case , but idw you , anymore of you , im sick of you even if - isnt . even if - wants t hold on , idc . selfish thinking i know but hey , im only human and what i want is my own happiness which means no trace of you. -'s gonna hate me for this but i dont care , this hurts .

do me a favor , make up your mind or just go away.

heads up, youre gonna wanna kill me and wish me away when you find out the secret -'s holding.

2011-07-25T04:15:00.000-07:00

lets just say i hate you. yes and i do know that hate is a strong word but no you did not hear wrongly, i HATE you. live w it.

2011-07-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

let go.

2011-07-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

i wanted t get away from here, i never wanted shit t fucking follow me all the way there. dont even talk bout shit happening there, im still here and the shit has started already . this is fucking ridiculous and youre so fucking insignificant t me, if not for - i wouldnt even give a flying fuck about your existence cos you reek of superficiality and selfishness and people like you is the reason why i detest myself for being nice. be nice for fuck .

2011-07-20T05:48:00.001-07:00

random memory .

2 years back , somewhere mid july , Ash and i were at the pool w bry ,bren, amanda, nat, dern and coach, the week after interclubs and we had a day of coaching and training and we spent the night playing truth or dare in the empty space between the 2 pools and we were drinking and tryna figure out which were stars and which were satellites, we sat talking up all night .

i loved that night.

-------------------------------------------
super crappy night, but my bestest boy is super and he makes me feel all better.

time for bed .

Stef : goodnight lovie, see you soon. imy.
Shaney: night night pooh bear (:

2011-07-17T08:40:00.000-07:00

yknow how shaney call me pooh bear and he's my christopher robin?

check this out .

SO CUTE RIGHT.
so anw , showed this t the boy and he commented ' totally cute, please dont try such dangerous stunts anymore pooh bear'

heehee [: too cute, this pic and the boy [;

gooooooooodnight , have a great week !

2011-07-16T20:58:00.000-07:00

whats w everyone being so afriad of letting me go to bangkok w/o mum and dad. i mean HELLOOOO ive done it before and ive been sent to bloody freaking germany in the dead of winter w only super basic german speaking skills whereas in my mind sometimes i think in thai. HELLOOO i wont get lost or kidnap luh. jesus christ! i think im only afraid of seeing ghost rather than being kidnapped.

anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i cant wait t get the fuck out of sg [[:

2011-07-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

this was what happened last night .

Esther , james, fanny,shane and i were waiting for cabs after PY's house bbq , we waited in the rain for like a good 15 mins , then this happened .

steph: *pokes shane , babe, 11:11 .[:
shane:i wish there was cabs now , seriously!

zooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom* 2 cabs appeared .

esther ,james,fanny and i : omgwtf .

it seriously appeared in 2 seconds, no kidding . hahahahha

2011-07-14T23:26:00.000-07:00

everyone should start taking me seriously, im not a kid anymore , i was 8 years ago when ya met me , but things have changed, time has passed by, ive learnt , loved, lost, experience , i know wtf im doing. im not a kid.

to you . fucking accept that im not 5 , stop asking me t grow up, YOU grow up . facebook isnt there for you to post statuses to get attention and expect everyone t give you a sympathy vote for whatever the fuck scheme youre coming up w . you have 2 guys ? choose one, dont play both . fucking be mature , face it and make a decision. dont blame me for siding anyone or whatever if you dont know my situation which ignorantly , you place me in . suck it up bitch , this is reality .

2011-07-14T05:56:00.000-07:00

what hurt the most at the end of the day was realising how i wouldve treid t change the entire world if it could make you happy. but you wouldnt even change anything for me.and yet i was so willing t continue w what i was doing .

2011-07-12T06:33:00.000-07:00

I CANT WAIT FOR SEPTEMBER , I WANNA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SO BAD!

2011-07-09T03:31:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wonder if not talking t me hurt you as much as it does me. cos everytime i walk past you , everythime we're in the same elevator , everytime our eyes meet , i wonder- what went wrong? howd we go from love t absolute strangers ?

just a thought.

2011-07-07T10:27:00.000-07:00

its about 1.30am right now and im still doing up my assignment . haha , i just sent the sleeping shaney a text : my sinus is so bad i really wanna stuff tampons up my nose to stop it from leaking , fuck my life.

lolololol. ok my sinus is causing a headache which is causing ear ache and everything is causing exhaustion and a fever . welcome to my life.

SUCK IT UP STEF, THE FASTER YOU FINISH THE FASTER YOU GET TO SLEEP! *note to self.

BYE ! XOXOXOXXOXOOX

2011-07-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

things ive learnt this week :

-i love shane . a lot. and i'll do anything for him.
- i hate it when shane's sad, it makes me have this sick feeling of being a failure .
-i got the best receipe for brownies.
- shane and i are like winnie the pooh and christopher robin , tweedle dee and tweedle dum , oreo and milk , peanut butter and jelly, socks w shoes . we're also like a bb and iphone , sun and moon, darkness and light. but you see , in it all, we're still the same elements. [:
-what i hate most is t see him sad.
- i love shane. a lot. have i mentioned this ? [;

-------------------------------------------------
ut assignments will be the death of me! im in bed w warm brownies, my shaney playlist for company since the human form had concussed on his bed like an hour ago, and er zi is sitting here w me. [:

my day started off miserably and all i wanted t do was cry and then die . but i'll be fine, cos my bestfriend is awesome.

xoxo , stephers.

2011-07-05T09:09:00.000-07:00

me: Hey, wna know something?

Shane:Sure? What's up?

me:Loving you is the second best thing i ever did.

Shane:So what's the first? :)

me:Finding you.

Shane:You knew i was gonna ask you that right! hate to admit it,but i love you too! To some extent if you wanna argue that i dont, i'll protect you no matter what happens. Even if it means me telling another guy: patience is a fucking virtue.

me: you would ask cos you couldnt stand not knowing if you were part of my first right.I dont wna argue cos i dont doubt you.

Shane: :D see ya tmmr pooh bear! looking forward t your movie!

me: asswipe.

and i know ive got the very best.

2011-07-04T05:43:00.000-07:00

today he smiled and he laughed. tomorrow will be a better day. keep holding on, S. xoxoxo

2011-07-03T02:26:00.000-07:00

youre slowly drowning and im tryna save you, but you wont allow it. ya say youve gotta get yourself through this. youre treading water but its tiring you out, youre not focusing on surviving, youre focusing on not dying . i wanna hold your hand but its all over the place , youre tryna stay afloat , so you think you are. in actuality , youre sinking deeper and the waves are drifting you away from me and everyone else you still have. i'll stay and try till i have you back. caouse w/o you, nothing is right, my world is empty. reach out , dont be afraid , im waiting .

2011-06-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

i miss vmy stupid brother like crazy . yknow how sometimes ya dont have t be talking t someone, ya just have t sit next t them t know the world is fine again. ah well, such is life. im learning t suck it up. live w no expectations so ya dont have t live through disappointments . #fact.

2011-06-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

when the music fades, all is stripped away . and i simply come, longing just t bring something thats of worth.

im good alone, final decision.

2011-06-26T20:47:00.001-07:00

im sorry i was not good enough, but i tried t be.

2011-06-26T05:40:00.001-07:00

i would say i miss you, but im afraid your reply wont be near what i wanna hear .

2011-06-24T14:06:00.001-07:00

when she's back, i'll go away and everything will stop all right. there wont be a we anymore , just you and me , two different entities , no more obligation whatsoever . happy t be so service t you.
xo, s

2011-06-22T09:11:00.001-07:00

2011-06-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

what dyou do if the person you argued w is your bestfriend ? who dya tell and get your feel better hug from? this sucks so fucking bad. goodnight i hope i dont wake up in the morning cos this is gonna hurt a million times worse.

2011-06-17T22:20:00.000-07:00

last night's phone call threw me down a lane filled w memories so dear i thought i wouldnt wake up alive cos all these thoughts made me miss you so much so it hurt and i was sure for a moment i was gonna die. man i miss you , figured i'll never love another like ive ever loved you . sometimes i dream that i wake up t you next t me and we go about our day doing absolutely nothing together and it makes me feel complete, then i wake up all alone and i yearn to go back to the dream. how pathetic. i really miss you and im dying t know if its killing you like its killing me, having t wait another 6 months more on top of the 16 months we've not met. 6 more months to 3 weeks w you then its back to counting down months all over again. life's really unfair and i hate how things work. i hate how i cant have you here .i fucking hate it . its always been at the back of my head, the what if's which surrounded the both of us and top of the list was, what if i held on a little longer ? and i know youre reading this cos you always do.oh btw, showed shane your pic on mummy's fridge two days ago. [:

xo,s

"Somebody's Me"

You, do you remember me?
Like I remember you?
Do you spend your life
Going back in your mind to that time?
'cause I, I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I'm going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else

[Chorus:]
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That somebody's me [2x]
Yeah

How, how could we go wrong?
It was so good and now it's gone
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we had isn't lost
'cause you're always right here in my thoughts

[Chorus:]
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That somebody's me
Oh, yeah

You'll always be in my life
Even if I'm not in your life
'cause you're in my memory
You, when you remember me
And before you set me free
Oh, listen please

[Chorus:]
Somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe without you, it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
That somebody's me
Somebody's me
Somebody's me
Somebody's me

2011-06-16T06:51:00.000-07:00

had dinner w shane at home , that suck up! mummy love him so much ]:

anwwwwww over dinner we were talking about twins i cant remember how we stumbled upon the topic but its so funny cos he didnt know so many celebs were twins [neither did i till yesterday!] but here's a few , ASHTON KUTCHER [mega hotty, unlike his twin :/] , vin diesel, duffy, giselle bundchen and ermmmmmmmm i cant remember who else! haha .then we went to names for people.like someone just named their kid blu bear, i cant remember who but i thought the name was super adorable! but only when youre a baby, imagine the poor kid throughout school! #bullybullseye . SO back t my super retarded bestfriend we were talking bout leah and her name, leahs haha so i was saying bout how my friend named her kid leah and since their surname is tee so they couldnt name her like 'apple' or 'jasmine' or else it'll be 'jasmine TEA' kinda thing . then we were tryna find names that can be played ard w 'toh' cos shane's a 'toh' and like i went ' KISS MY' , so it'll be 'kiss my toe' and i burst out laughing . not very funny for shane cos he was imagining his future offspring , hahahha told him i would love his kid to death though! hahah' come here! kiss my toh , come now and help me kissmy toh' ROFLMAO. he thought for damn long and he finally went , 'pear , toh' say it fast and it sounds like 'petal' like that of a flower which is actually kinda pretty but think 'pear' alone , nehhhhh. he said, if he had a son what would he name his son, i said 'shaney' so cue right , imagine , father= shane, son= shaney, daughter= shayla . SHO CUTE! haha .

anw this is a peek at of a random dinner conversation between shane and i [:

xoxo, s

2011-06-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

Shane : are you scared cos there's only one of me?

Steph: youre right, there's only one of you and im afraid if i dont love you enough, one day you'll find there's nothing here worth staying for and you'll move on.

2011-06-12T04:03:00.000-07:00

rules; no touching/kissing. sit at least 10cm apart.no personal attacks.no bullying.

we made it from star gazing till sunrise , through supper t breakfast .

our last goodbye, your last song for me.

hey you, im sorry we didnt work. love lost now is not love lost forever, remember that . ps, i love the song.im sorry youre hurting, it'll get better soon!

If you hear this on the radio
Then we've already said our last goodbye
I won't be there when you get home
by now there's someone else that hears you cry

I wonder if he holds you like I did
I hope that he can love you better
Cause you were everything that's right at the wrong time

[Chorus]
I didn't wanna lose you
leave me with a broken heart
but wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye
Oh, I didn't want to let you go
But wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

We were almost beautiful
A broken piece of art put on display
But we were never possible
Another perfect moment thrown away

I know somebody out there will love you
They'll be the forever we never were
Cause we were everything that's right at the wrong time

[Chorus]
I didn't want to lose you
Leave you with a broken heart
But wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye
Oh, I didn't want to let you go
But wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

If you hear this on the radio
Then we've already said our last goodbye
Our last goodbye...

[Chorus]
I didn't want to lose you
Leave you with a broken heart
But wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye
Oh, I didn't want to let you go
But wherever we are, we're miles apart
I know that we tried, but this is the last goodbye

till next time.
xo, megan.

2011-06-12T02:23:00.000-07:00

I CAME FIRST! I JUST FOUND OUT, THAT I CAME FIRST! I WAS THERE BEFORE SHE WAS! I CAME FIRST! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D

2011-06-07T10:23:00.001-07:00

"You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains. You say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines. You say that you love the wind, but you close your windows when wind blows. This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too."
-William Shakespeare

2011-06-05T07:25:00.000-07:00

i wish jerome was home, i wish shane was home, i wish mel was home. i wish i went away.

2011-06-05T01:38:00.000-07:00

day one .

shane left this morning and a surge of sadness filled me, woke up at 4 and gave him his morning call, talked for a bit and he went t wash up, i tried t fall back asleep but somehow i couldnt really sleep, it felt like i was asleep but my mind was racing and alert , i knew everything that was happening around me, woke up the moment my phone beeped , texted him all the way till bout 5 ish and i fell back t sleep, woke up t the roaring of thunder and i was scared shitless. the last time i woke up t a thunder storm, i woke up t his text tell me not t be afraid.
funny how when we're together, all we seem t do is get ourselves in conversations so deep it often leads t us arguing or us irritating and annoying the living crap out of each other, but yet 12 hours w/o hearing from him sets me into such sadness and shane-sick feeling. i miss my bestfriend. thats why a person is truly your bestfriend when you realise all you need is that person , whether or not its good times , you just need t know the person is near and you'll feel safe.

i just read B's blog, idk if it was t me, but in a way i guess it is, i know nothing , thats true so very very true. t be able t have someone by your side or just having the person though text's or face time, makes a world of a difference, i admire how much stremgth she has t be able t hold on , its been what, 3 months ? more than halfway there and they're both doing fine [[: . but i know nothing yet again , how she feels t be miles away and now not even get t communicate w him, at least i know in 5 days, i'll have him back home w me.

this missing him is insaneeeeeee , he's constantly on my mind . jesus christ he's so annoying even though he's away >:

im off t waste my life away .

xo.

2011-06-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday grandpa, its been 8 years and i still miss you so much. hope youre having a blast wherever you are. <3

2011-05-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

life been pretty mundane , skyped ash the other day for like 10 mins though his sister's a/c , only cos they were next t each other. funny but i really do miss him! We're done with 5 weeks of school, 10 more weeks, just 10 more weeks and i'll be half way through w RP . my class is pretty close so thats kinda nice , but i really miss my last sem's class, i miss everyone especially being able t be a seat away from my bestfriend. but this separation is good for the both of us i guess.

Anyway , i fell asleep at about 12.30 last night and then somewhere in the middle of the night i heard thunder and me being me got scared and woke up, turned to my phone and i saw this text " it's raining :( dont be afraid of thunder and lightning alright :)" , this is why ive got the very best boy as my bestfriend , shane toh is amazing. w that text i replied "thanks bboy" and went back t sleep. such a qtpie when he's not annoying the living crap out of me. know what, this beats all r/s and all f/s cos im head over heels in love w this boy and im not afraid t say it out cos this is forever , you cant break up w your bestfriend ,not like you can w a girlfriend.

im baking now and im guarding my cookies so they wont burn! [:

gonna do my RJ and then head off t meet Shane, Melo and Rowell for porridge supper! :D

xoxoxo .

2011-05-09T04:00:00.001-07:00

im at starbucks w a monkey [:

2011-05-03T08:23:00.000-07:00

funny how you captivated me, i wanna fall in love w you all over again, A.

2011-05-03T06:19:00.000-07:00

dont go.

i hate the thought of being away from you five days a week, i hate how i cant just call you up and rant about anything, i hate not having you next door t me.
i wish i can tell you how much i love you and it'll be enough for you t stay, but its not a decision you get t make.im really really really sad. ]:

i love you J, have fun in army.

xoxo,S

2011-05-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

i need t change my blog layout . its getting a lil boringgg. tomorrow in school, perhaps.

dear x, imy alrdy.

xoxo,s

2011-04-25T05:51:00.000-07:00

what happened to all 3 of us? one doesnt talk t us and the other and i , even though none of us is speaking up, we oth know our friendship is walking on a tightrope right now and yes of course i'll love to save it. but me saving things, relationships,friendships , they're all getting a little old, same old routine, i save and we last for at most a month more than everything ends again. this is cause it takes 2 to clap, 2 to hug , 2 to converse.

i feel like ever since i found S, they found it right t let go of me, but ive been holding on, S is awesome but he isnt you,M, youre my bff. i wont say i'll make you choose between me and K but i would like t know i still exist in your life as your friend at least and not just a safety net, when everything comes crashing down i'll be on the end of the line listening t you . Thats my duty as your bff and i would still continue t do this, but make me feel a little more appreciated. i cant deal w 'i miss you' 'meet me soon' ' i love you' and all that, what are words if they are not shown , you dont meet me anymore , you always have a reason not t meet me or ps me, some i really understand but some are just ridiculous. youre turning into MB , every reason you hated her , every reason you stopped talking t her for, pay attention, its the same things youre doing t me.

dont get me wrong , i dont mind not being number one on your list of friends, but just dont expect me t make you my number one anymore too, cos S has gone way above your ranking. dont tell me things like ' oh ya'll are in the same school' 'ya'll have enough time t meet' and shit cos we dont , we study in different blocks or rooms, he has his friends and i have mind. he has coaching t handle ive got my own stuff too outside of school. here's the difference, we make the effort t meet, even if its just for a hug.

tired, goodnight.

2011-04-22T11:09:00.001-07:00

we all know im not the holiest kid ard but i went for my annual maundy thurs trip w mel and this time something hit me. to be grateful. for things and people especially.

i have a bestfriend and he takes my breath away all the time, when i hug him i feel safe when i spend a whole day doing absolutely nothing, it makes me incredibly happy. we talk about anything and everything and im most comfortable when im w him. then there's my other bestfriend who lives life like everyday is her last day, never fails t make me smile and is always full of love for me.

im grateful for them.

[:

2011-04-20T20:30:00.001-07:00

tell me im dreaming.

2011-04-12T03:18:00.001-07:00

w/o a word goodbye finds my way,it finds me then it laughs in my face.the game is set and done.neither of us won and im the only one in pain.

2011-04-05T07:41:00.001-07:00

dear ash, tnight i wish you were here t wipe away my tears, hug me and kiss the pain away. tonight i wish you were here.

2011-03-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

you left, i didnt. but it was bound t happen right? kiss and leave. typical. see, you probably dont get it, but if you ever really did listen t me, i always said, people always leave, its just a matter of time. so congratulations, youve made the list. thanks though, it was great mindfuck hanging on.

2011-03-17T08:53:00.000-07:00

i waited the whole fucking day now im just tired cold and missing you home like fuck.

2011-03-11T01:30:00.001-08:00

the sudden onset of panic and fear when the lines are jammed then the relieve when i heard her voice.

2011-03-07T08:09:00.000-08:00

this is where ya'll are wrong. he will hurt but not for me, he will hurt cos she's gone for long i'll just be away for a short while.

but i will hurt cos w the two of us, i rely on him most.

2011-03-05T23:31:00.000-08:00

im sitting on my rooms floor in my bra and boxers feeling mighty uncomfortable. i think im falling sick again , my tummy hurts my eye's have triple eyelids and theyre super sore and and and i feel like puking and my skin feels damn hot . i feel sick. ]:

2011-02-27T02:29:00.000-08:00

The Script taught me how to move on.
Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love
Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through
Taylor Swift taught me that not every girl is going to treat me right
30 Seconds to Mars taught me to speak whats on my mind
...Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me
Music teaches me to live

got that from paul ng! idk where he got it from though [:

2011-02-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

sent mel t work this morning, came home and crashed. its 12.55pm and i just woke up , no hangover , completely sobered up.

and now im crying cos i realise everything that has happened yesterday , and now it fucking hurts so bad , no more alcohol in my system to hide it. fucking hurts damn bad ,no games for a year , this r/s, what i wanna study next , rese is going back soon , then mel leaves , then matt leaves . hurts so fucking badly.

idk what i want anymore , the plan was there . finish rp ,head t aussie t do marine biology . that was the plan . but now how? i dont think marine biology is my thing anymore , i cant bear t leave everything and everyone behind, but if the other 2 most important people in my life mel and rese are there, i would wna be w them too. and the best part of this whole situation? i cant talk t dad bout it, or its gna be another forced route.

games , fuck. injuries were sustained while training so fucking hard for games but how funny they are the cause for my suspension .

fuck rambling post. bye .

2011-02-22T12:42:00.001-08:00

Verse 1:
Lost in the day, in a way, it's same as the one before this,
And I wish I could say that's it's all black and white
But it's grey, it's the same, it's the same and I'm so tired
But You are what I'm coming home to

Pre:
Oh and I'm thinking about a red wine buzz and takin' it easy, and I got you in my arms, takin' a break from crazy

Chorus:
And I'll say hey, you'll say baby, how's ur day, I'll say crazy, but it's all gonna be alright
You'll kiss my smile, I'll pull you closer, spend a while just getting to know ya, but it's gonna be all alright
I'm loving you tonight
Loving you tonight

Verse 2:
And You are there on my heart, at the start, of my every morning and I,
Can't deny, by the end of the day that I'm running on empty but
You make me full, steal my breath, you're so unpredictable
That's what I'm coming home to

Pre:
Oh I'm dreaming about a romance, slow dancing with you, when I got you in arms, I don't care what we do

Chorus:
And I'll say hey, you'll say baby, how's ur day, I'll say crazy, but it's all gonna be alright
You'll kiss my smile, I'll pull you closer, spend a while just getting to know ya, but it's gonna be all alright
I'm loving you tonight
Loving you tonight

Bridge:
Every day is just the in-between, the hours separating you from me I know you'll be waiting, I know that you'll be waiting

Chorus:
And I'll say hey, you'll say baby, how's ur day, I'll say crazy, but it's all gonna be alright
You'll kiss my smile, I'll pull you closer, spend a while just getting to know ya, but it's gonna be all alright
I'm loving you tonight
Loving you tonight

2011-02-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

Happy 21st lovie. thanks for being you , for the being the very best!

If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,
I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Woooooooh, Woooooooh
Yeah, Yeah

If you're tossing and you're turning and you just can't fall asleep,
I'll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me,
Everyday I will remind you, ohh

Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Wooooooh, Wooooooh
Yeah, Yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go, never say goodbye

You know you can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Oohhhh, ohhhhh
You can count on me cause I can count on you

love you budster [;

2011-02-21T03:04:00.000-08:00

life's strange. Things sometimes happen for no apparent reason , problems get thrown at us and we're expected t face it. Sometimes i guess its not about making everything right , but instead how we go about fixing it.

Someone once told me that being happy is easy , you just have t think positive and always look at the brighter side of things in life . But i dont feel the same . somehow i think waking up in the morning and getting through your day with the arguments , disagreements , fights and everything else and be able to say at the end of the day that you have made right with these people , or at least come to a conclusion , even if it means never talking to them again , then washing up and going to bed w a smile on your face .

I think friends are put in your lives for specific reasons. They dont have t be your bestfriends. actually come t think about it , the word bestfriend is hard to define anymore . looking back , ive said many people are my bestfriends , but it like i somehow jinxed it ? idk . everybody drifts apart , life goes on and sometimes friendships move along too.

lets start from when i was 4 , there was colin and we were the best of friends , now i can only say he was my childhood friend, cause in the recent 2 years which has passed, idk where he went , yes the occasional hi's and bye's , the 'we'll hang out soon' all never seem t come .

Then when i was 7 , first day of school , first girl i held hands with , also was gna be the girl i spent 6 years of my primary education with , didnt have a very 'connected' f/s w in secondary school , became closer when we both graduated , still spends every birthday w me. good enough for me , really.

when i was 8 , ballet w sam , 12 years later and we have lunch on sundays , get into car accidents together and do a whole lot of shit together.

when i was 12 , i met mel ,rese and my . life changing really , became the fourth ong , awesome to know i had another family to always fall back on.8 years , sure mel and i have had terrible fights, but hey we made it out all right , all the tears , we're still us , mel and stef .

lets skip through and hit time year i became 16 , had t handle the leave and everything . made 2 people who impacted my life quite a bit . mandy and baclay . WE have truly been through hell and out together , super dramatic girl fights , guys coming in between us , major exams , pushing each other through , experiencing many 'first' together , talking bout really anything and everything, best people to club with , best people to feel safe around .but these few weeks , its been hard .
i cant explain , it feels like im trying but somehow not enough .i cant explain , its weird . confusing.

and then there was the dream of sam dying and my heart breaking , im starting t think , am i giving the title bestfriend away too easily ? how dyou define a bestfriend ?

This is why im always saying im good alone cause everytime i feel like opening up , something fucked up happens then everything gets messy and everything sucks . idk , how or who's my bestfriend. i think i have many , super good friends . If i have t say right now, right this moment, i say mand , she's the one person i'll call at 4 am in the morning if i ever need her and i know she'll be there , one person i know i can tell EVERYTHING t and know she wont judge , one i can cry t and know she will hug me and keep me safe cause afterall these time , she's the one who makes me smile when i see her name light up on my phone , one who i cant resist talking t online , one who's bbm conversation i'll never close cause i know i'll talk t her soon , one who when she's sick , affects me most t know she's not fine . she probably is the one friend i care the most about . i guess. [:

2011-02-18T02:24:00.000-08:00

J and paul are heading oversea for polo game tmr , which means paul is staying over and then quiet house for a few days.
i wanna stay home and slack w the boys but i wanna study w mand too , but i guess im gna study instead . studies first! [;

im like at the hospital , im done w my 5km run , two thumbs up! ran w doc jimmy since he was done w work [:

anw , my phone batt is dying and i dont have my charger w me =/ .

heading t dinner w PY and Fanny at chomps later , om nom nom my 5 km run will go t waste! butttt foooooooooood [;

im chilling in the hospital , my nose is kinda running , waiting for dad t finish his run thenb we can go home! its really cold today! like im in shorts and my running singlet and usually i will be perspiring like some waterfall after my run but today im cold ,im snuggled in my jacket .
OH have i mention how awesome the arena jackets are ? loveee it! ive used my red one for like 3 years ? ive got 2 reds , dad took one then i bought the yellow recently too . awesome , really good buy! J's taking it on his trip tmr .

awww idw him t gooo ]]: i want him at home w me ]:
getting sappy. ogayy off t blow my nose !

xoxoxo

2011-02-17T06:09:00.001-08:00

its this feeling , like my heart is stuck under this huge boulder and somehow i cant get it out. probably never cried so much in my life, like i feel so ............. stuck ? idk , the feeling of losing her, even if it was just a dream , it killed me too. its like somehow im stuck in this dimension and i cant get out, cause this dream , the scenes , they keep replaying in my head. they parts where the car hits you and where everyone is telling me to give up cause youre gone. i cant explain it , as simple or as crazy as i sound , it felt too real. and when i woke up and i couldnt call ya knowing you were in the middle of a paper , it hurt more it hurt so much my head started t hurt , my eyes kept crying ,its like the world didnt have meaning anymore and what topped everything off , was my lack of memory , my last " i love you sam" or "thanks so much for the past 14 years of being there sam" . everything was erased and i couldnt think all i knew was how much i needed t hear your voice and how badly i wanted t be able t hug ya again . my text of desperation for ya not t ever leave me .

im rambling , but i had t let it go , i felt suppressed and weirdly i still do , 12 hours and 40 mins since i woke up. feels like seconds ago.

2011-02-14T05:08:00.000-08:00

"its valentines day, i just wanted t see you."

after you told me how disappointed you were in me , how i broke your heart , how much of a bitch am t you and everything else which i never did t ya . ya still wanted t see me ? youre a pathetic excuse for a guy,D .

2011-02-10T20:55:00.001-08:00

sometimes i wish this life wasnt real i wish it was a dream . maybe then you wont hurt so much.
you know i love you ? everything ya do.

and i wish and hope and pray that one night, i'll be able to come home to you playing the guitar and singing away, wake up to your hugs , then you messing up my hair and fighting for the toilet .
when we're going out, you coming over and stealing my perfume and me stealing your cologne.

but till then , its me going home to your door shut and you absorbed in your show , wake up to you w a frown and we dont even bother fighting anymore cos somewhere along these months, you left , not physically but in every other possible way .

and you left , left me too . why ?

missyouloveyouneedyou.

2011-02-09T01:26:00.000-08:00

last year, she passed away and J was so broken after it ,all the nightmares he had, how he kept himself in denial till all the reports were out.
today's her birthday, today he needed me around but i said i was too busy for him. now that i know why, i feel like the worst sister in the world.
J, i love you and next time you say you need me for something like this, i promise i'll come running. close your eyes and count t 10 , ready or not youre gna be all right again.

its been quite some time, i get how it feels , i still miss jac too.

three words , life goes on.

2011-02-07T05:42:00.000-08:00

When you want someone, that person doesn't want you. And when someone wants you, you wouldn't want them. And when you both want each other, something has to come around to mess it up.

2011-02-05T20:16:00.000-08:00

six billion secrets.